Tonight I went to a bar in downtown, it was late, Wednesday, and the place was packed full of random people, as expected… after all, it is the Gaslamp, San Diego, the spring time… and I ended up having a conversation with the praised “Mystery”, author of “The Mystery Method”, recently featured on Conan O’Brien talking about his book and the art of getting gorgeous women into bed.
First let me tell you about Erik, stage named Mystery. He’s a tall lengthy liberated guy, black nail polished, pretty outrageously outfitted lengthy ‘bro’ with a knack for talk and definitely large following. He gets paid, apparently, to hold seminars for guys, wherein he teaches them (much like Hitch) how to pick up on women in a club/bar/wherever setting, and then they all go out and try their hand at simply getting laid, or hooking up… whatever.
Now, in the brief 30 minutes that I talked with this guy, I didn’t say too much… Something I learned a long time ago is to let the charismatic dig themselves into a trench so you can fill in the hole they’ve dug with a few small scoops. Oh! I’ve let on to my conclusion; I’m trying to remain unbiased, until I drop the hammer on this cat. Anyhow, he spoke for the majority, and of course the conversation was randomly interrupted every few minutes or so when he got distracted by a set of tits, or some random 2 through 9 scaled bar skeeze. During this time, he explained to me the meaning of life, which of course is “to procreate”, not in his quote, but in mine – I think he said “spread your seed” or “make babies” something to that shallow effect. It was pretty simple and quick to see that Erik appeals to the masses by over generalization, and associating to the common low-life. Before I start to gun this fool down; he made some interesting points about the primitive tell tale signs from a woman when you’re coming onto her… and he put it in terms of ape-like grooming; interesting analogy, but the hair flipping example was quite convincing… Not sure if I’d compare women to primates just yet, I mean, I’ve said my pieces about how shallow I think we’ve all become in our shop-til-you-drop society, but I’m not sure I’ve gone so far as to say we haven’t evolved from monkeys enough just yet to not act like them when we’re in a social environment.
So we were outside talking it up, and he tried to get me to go inside with him on the prowl, pick up a few “targets” and try my hand at his methods, I just looked at him. “You gotta be kidding”, I said.
“Oh c’mon man, this is why we’re all here. We go out to places like this to meet women, socialize, and put ourselves out there, using that inner pick up artist we all have inside of us…”, Erik replied.
I shifted myself from leaning against the railing with my left elbow, to my right, “Not all of us.”
“Why are you here?”, he looked perplexed, like it was the first time he ever came across a guy that was more complicated than a simple caveman out in the “field” looking to score a piece of ass from some shallow whore at a club on a weekday.
I leaned forward, “Simply to be here… home was boring”.
Now, I’m not sure exactly what this guy was thinking at this point. I mean, I wasn’t all that puzzled by why I would be at a bar in downtown, hell that’s where I go, I hang out from time to time at VIP spots, just to get a decent drink and talk it up with friends. Sue me. It’s like going to a coffee shop and talking philosophy with the people you’re with to have a good time. What fun is it going out with goals and agendas? That’s what work is for. So off he scampered, and he got about 10 feet into the door when he stopped at these two skirts, started to strike up some horrible conversation. “What nationality are you?” I looked at my friend and just laughed. Sorry, but unless you’re from San Diego, you might not get it. San Diego is the Mecca for all those “not from here”, and that’s the lowest level conversation starter you can pick. Maybe that was the idea, perhaps he so coy that he doesn’t need to try anymore, sure. It gets better.
So he comes back, 15… maybe 20 minutes later. I’m still standing outside, perched against the railing, leaning on my left elbow. I did what I normally do to people that lose my interest, I ignored him. For those of you that are reading this that have had the pleasure of losing my interest, you know exactly how that works. After a few minutes, I look over at his conversation with a girl from Guam, I know this because he used the same line on her as he did the other dame. And he brushes her off, to lean into conversation to me about the three stages of a pick-up.
I called bullshit in my head the second I heard him say it; but then again, the caliber of women he’s using his shit against aren’t exactly college level graduates, and if they are, they’re simply too stupid to realize what’s going on, and even more so, aren’t worth much if they fall for it. Maybe I’m too picky, perhaps my superiority complex is a little over the top, and then he asked me, pointing to my friend who was with me, “How long you two been hanging out?”
I look at my buddy, “Ten years?”
My friend replies to him, “Ten, maybe eleven years.”
“So is he your wing man? You guys go out and score often?” Erik pried.
My friend just looked at him and said, “No. We get women by talking to them like people”.
I’m not even sure the guy stuck around long enough to hear the entire sentence, but Erik’s friend (we’ll just call him Whoeverthefuck) caught it, and he was fucking boggled. “So… which one of you guys usually goes in for the kill?”
You gotta be fucking kidding me. Thank god I wasn’t in the mood to talk to this freak, or I would have had a field day, so my friend replied, “Neither of us, man, we just dominate.”
“Oh really?”, Whoeverthefuck said.
I just laughed and turned my back to the guy. My friend says, “Yep!”
Anyhow, a little side story narrative of my evening with Erik Von Markovik, the author of “The Mystery Method”. Just by meeting this guy, I’d say, if you’re into shallow whores without the ability to formulate their own opinions; who are codependent; and who are grotesquely predictable to the point of being compared to with apes… Get the book, its available on Amazon. I won’t be buying it, I believe in treating people like people with respect until proven worthy of otherwise; and I require substance in the relationships I build with others, not some formulated systematic three step process that’ll allow me to go plug holes in drunk chicks all night with my man-hammer.
Cheers, “Mystery”. You got my vote for one of the smartest idiots I’ve ever met. Congratulations on your successes.
Filed under: politics
This is a rant:
The state of the States… Where the hell do I start? We have the worst president in US history in office, the most corrupt politicians we’ve ever seen currently in office, and the most unimportant war we’ve ever seen as Americans going on right now. Shit makes me embarrassed to say I used to vote Republican, now I’m glad to say I only vote local, and never for people, just for propositions.
Oh no! I don’t vote, I don’t have the right to complain. How about this? Give me someONE worth voting for, and I’ll think about changing my mind on the matter. Right now, I believe firmly, that no vote counts just as much as a vote; think about it like this, if California’s voting turn out was 3.2 million people, and only 7 people voted for a person, everyone else voted for issues and propositions, I think that message would be pretty damn clear. I simply refuse to vote for the lesser of the evils.
Here’s an even greater idea. Allow us to vote against someone, as opposed to simply for someone. There’s a dynamic addition for you. You don’t have to vote on someone, but you can damn well make sure that the person you don’t want to see in office the most can have negative points added to the count… Not that actual counted public votes matter; thanks to the electoral college, but hey, whatever. It’d be nice to be able to “deny vote” someone out of office, and at least be able to say “hey… its not my fault, I cast a a deny vote against that fucktard”. Oh, I can hear the political crybabies winding up already about this one; “Just vote for the other guy if you don’t want blah blah” or “you don’t know etc etc because of X”. Here’s an earful you can take with you (eyeful really); I believe people are accountable for their actions, and if I’m willing to put someone in office that I don’t think is 100% qualified, they’re simply “more” qualified than asshat #2? I’m doing a greater injustice to this great nation by feeding into this plagued system.
Here, in not so common terms:
The System is flawed, fundamentally, on all levels, from the core, outward. The System itself is self-defeating, in that, all you have to do to ensure stability in a state of problematic upheaval is simply disallow qualified entities to enter The System, and keep the bar at or near the medium/average of where it has been or has been projectively headed toward. The factors involved in the current state of the States are the people, the media, the lobbyists, the politicians, the policies and the judiciary.
The Media
Viacom: This mass media mogul is the cornerstone of nearly everything you see in media and advertising everyday. They own MTV, MTV2, mtvU, Nickelodeon, BET, Nick at Nite, TV Land, NOGGIN, VH1, Spike TV, CMT, Comedy Central, Showtime, The Movie Channel, Flix, Sundance Channel, Paramount Pictures, Paramount Home Entertainment, CBS, UPN, Infinity Broadcasting, Simon & Schuster, Blockbuster, Paramount Parks, Famous Players Theater, United Cinemas International, Famous Music.
Time/Warner: I love [/sarcasm] these guys… They’re allowing me to post to WordPress at this very moment. They own CNN (all of it), HBO, Court TV, Time Warner Cable services, Road Runner interactive services, New York 1, Warner Bros. (studios, film production and distrbution,) WB Television Network, Hanna Barbera Cartoons, Telepictures Production, Witt – Thomas Productions, Castle Rock Entertainment, Warner Home Video, Warner Bros pay TV, Warner Bros Theaters, TBS Superstation, Turner Network Television, Turner South, Cartoon Network (3 channels), Turner Classic Movies, TNT, New Line Cinema, Fine Line Features, Turner Original Productions, Time Warner Music, Atlantic Records, Rhino, Elektra, and 49 other music production companies, CompuServe Interactive, AOL and subsidiaries, The Knot Inc, MapQuest.com, Spinner.com, Winamp, DrKoop.com, Legend, Amazon.com, MovieFone, and the fucking Atlanta Braves.
Here’s a link clickit.
What’s my point? Simple. Money. We’re not a democracy, we’re a consumerocracy. Money runs this nation… One nation, under Washington, Lincoln, Jackson and Grant. Control the media, control the advertising, control the people in it; or at least the politicians that “run” it, because you control the money. This isn’t conspiracy theory, its a fact. Want to destroy this nation? Bring the NYSE to it’s knees; doesn’t take planes or bombs, just takes cash, credit, shares, stocks and bonds. Every facet of everyday life in the United States revolves around the economy; that’s all there really is to worry about, no matter how you look at it, no matter what angle you choose, you’re either directly effecting or 1 degree of separation away from the cash flow of this great country. Even this post on this site is surely generating some type of marketing statistic that will in turn be leveraged to turn a buck. That’s just how thing’s work; and whoever controls the direction of the flow of consumer economy, can effectively control the consumer, and thus steer everyone in whatever direction they want us to be in.
What’s so wrong with this? Ever watch “reality” television? How about the news? Perhaps you’ve caught up on some sitcoms or drama on television. Ever see Heroes? 24? Grey’s Anatomy? These shows are all simply formulated to get you to do one thing; stop thinking, or start thinking about the wrong things. They’re obvious products of a system that keeps people inside of it looking outward, never questioning, never wondering, constantly living in fear of terrorist attacks, constantly voting for their favorite idol, and constantly forgetting and turning a blind eye to what the problems of this nation truly are. The media is the opium the government needs to keep everyone sitting on their asses, eating fast foods, and buying into their system, to ensure it stays stable. After all, any type of shake up would probably cause for some type of failure of the system, and god forbid we find out we NEED a new way to do things.
Imagine what would happen if everyone shut off their televisions and turned off their radios. Think the media doesn’t understand how important they are to the nation? Lets take the web for example. How many problems has this unregulated name-space been for media monsters? How many lawsuits have you seen? How many ads do you see? How much is Google worth? … and why? Google’s great, they have everything… $500billion worth of everything. Why they’re so rich is easy to explain. They’re vapor. They provide companies with a reliable resource on the web to market to their demographic and track it in pretty charts… That’s not literally tangible by any means, in fact, the Internet, pre-online advertising, was actually not a bad place to be. Wasn’t all that informative, it wasn’t all that pretty, but it allowed people to share thoughts and documents online simply enough… and here we have Google, they make some neat shit, I’ll give them that, they’re a great place to work, that’s another feat. But they’re the Viacom/Time Warner of the web world. They make money from force feeding you advertising all day, everyday.
Advertising isn’t bad. Really. But have you ever thought why you see things so often? Why you’re subjected to Nissan, Wendy’s, McDonalds, GM, Washington Mutual, Well’s Fargo and Apple so often? Honestly, who the fuck hasn’t heard of an iPod? Oh! The ominous “They” needs to make sure EVERYONE on Earth gets a chance to see the commercials? See the ads? … Its a proven method! Keep giving the public what you want them to see, and the sheep will herd up and go to the stores. Pathetic. We’re controlled, and we’re controlled by the media, and as a result, our country’s run like a giant Wal*Mart, lots of shit everywhere to buy, lots of akward fat asses walking around, and tons upon tons of bureaucratic deals and problems going on behind the walls and register that no one is concerned with because cheese is half off.
I’m sure it doesn’t hurt Viacom or Time/Warner at all to score a few hundred thousand bucks every time one of these companies wants to try to get your attention too. This isn’t just about television, because if they can’t get to you there, they’ll get to you on the way to work via billboards and radio ads. Even clothing, your cellphone, and schools; they’re all inundated with this highly important factor in this nation’s government; marketing, advertising, and the plague of things you need, the things you want, the things They wants you to want.
I’m using They in a singular sense, since They is a unit of the corporate owners of this nation. George Carlin once went off on this same topic, to an extent, but only grazed the surface, and he was 100% right, but at the same time, he was giving that speech on HBO… Thankfully you can probably find it on YouTube.
The Lobbyist
Ever hear of an activist group? A really rich one? Here’s one; I define an activist group as any group of people or corporations that involve themselves in anything that prompts the opinion of the masses. For example. PETA, NRA, NAACP, KKK, Green Peace, Phillip Morris, H & K, Chevrolet, and Exxon. Yes, I just grouped PETA and Exxon in the same category. Why not? They’re all one in the same. It was said best in “Thank You for Smoking” when the main character, Nick Naylor, on the talk show basically said that activists want people to die from lung cancer, because if they don’t? They have no case. I’m deliberately leveraging the fact that this movie was about Big Tobacco and lobbyists, namely one; but also included firearms, alcohol, and briefly energy lobbyists.
But the funny thing about this movie is the skewed perception it has on what’s actually bad for America. Granted it wasn’t a movie about the fundamental flaws in this nation, well… directly anyway. Back to point, every facet of this nation is so beyond help, that even the non-profit good-doers are feeding into it and simply fueling the fire. There isn’t a single thing, any one group, or group of groups could ever do in today’s world to actually make a standing, long-term, much needed difference that will ensure this country advances, positively. Their problem resides in the one crack in their foundation. Its based on a system that is no longer capable of supporting any great change or advancement in the right direction that will move our government away from the corruption and utterly culture-less society they’re governing.
I should continue; but actually, there’s no point. Its simply the same point over and over and over again. The organizations that exist are greed filled. They’re relentlessly, and hopelessly flawed on all levels, even to the point where philanthropy is simply seen as a nice gesture, but will never even make a difference, or a dent for that matter…
The Problems
- Marketing & Advertising
- All Political Parties
- The Mass Media
- Corporate America
- The Fast Food Industry
- Tobacco Industry
- Firearms Industry
- Fossil Fuel-based Energy Companies
- The Weapons Industry
- Cable Television
- Organized Religions… all of them
- Non-Profit Organizations with Lobbyists
- For-Profit Organization with Lobbyists
- Corporate Law Firms
- Consumer Level Recruiting Agencies
- Trade Schools
- Automotive Manufacturers
- Tire Manufacturers
- Petroleum-based Companies (plastics, etc)
- Housing Developers contributing to Suburbs and their expansion
- Real Estate Agencies and Mortgage Lenders in inflated markets
Agree with me or not; up to you… people lie to themselves constantly everyday, when they say that “their job is great” and “they’re happy working as a nobody at some X company” … why? Because the pay is good? The people you work for are neat? The benefits are good? Shallow dreams yield shallow goals in life that’s for damn sure. That’s what’s wrong with not only the US, but the world. Every facet of every part of these organizations and institutions have one way or another stripped out all the hope and character in humanity, by labeling it, defining it, drilling into it, and expecting to strike it rich by taking advantage of everyone that’s subjected to it. They’ve torn out the soul of our nation and expect us to seek it out in music They have formulated for us to listen to. Creativity is praised for the few who have it, and people like me are seen as complainers who don’t do anything about it…
Revolutionary actions aren’t possible if people don’t get out of the box long enough to think for themselves. Unfuck The System.
Filed under: relationships
In any successful relationship, there’s a natural balance between two people. This balance, though not literal, could be represented by a balance scale – where in each person stands on their respective side, and then articles of that relationship can be weighed in. For example; take “Joe” he’s a stalker. Put him on a scale with who he’s stalking, we’ll call her “Jane” (Joe:Jane), and relationship items would look like this:
Thoughtfulness (100:0)
Emotional Attachment (100:0)
Attentiveness (100:0)
Appreciation (100:0)
Since Joe, here, is acting on impulses, regardless of reaction from Jane, he simply takes on every other aspect of his “relations” with Jane; and compensates (within his brain) for her lack of input. This is an extreme case, and not quite a relationship; considering stalkers are one sided psychopaths that don’t need any input from others to established … feelings, if you can even call’m that. But apply this to a successful relationship. Joe’s awesome and into Jane, Jane loves Joe with everything.
Thoughtfulness (50:50)
Emotional Attachment (45:55)
Attentiveness (55:45)
Appreciation (50:50)
Since Jane’s more emotional about things and Joe is given more opportunities to be attentive to her emotional states; including her attachment to him – he gets to the slightly more attentive one. Most males are more attentive (brain) than emotional (heart) anyhow; its no surprise that women are emotional, driven by hormonal shifts and have been even given a bad wrap, more often than not, for being illogical and irrationally controlled by them at least a week a month. In actuality, some women are controlled by their emotions and do act irrationally. God forbid if you ever have to handle one of these…
So; with that in mind you can imagine why relationships will fail. if the input isn’t 100% combined, then compensation will begin one way or the other. Example: Joe’s less attentive toward Jane for some reason; perhaps his attentiveness has been redirected to the new secretary at work. First off, if this happens, there’s another problem – being satisfied in his current relationship; or at least feeling as though he’s getting back what he’s putting into his relationship. There are two reason’s people start to stray from their responsibilities in a relationship; either the fault of themselves, or their mate.
Regardless, Joe’s attentive score within his relationship is now (35); and Jane recognizes this and tries to compensate by being inquisitive about what he’s doing and she starts to pay attention to his actions and actually overshoots the attention to his actions. Jane (75).
What you have now is (35:75); for you math inept, that’s 110, and chances are Jane’s not going to ease off if Joe’s pushing away, after all her emotional attachment rating is probably fluctuating as a result as well as Joe’s is becoming more distant, as is Thoughtfulness and Appreciation is definitely slipping:
Thoughtfulness (40:60)
Emotional Attachment (35:65)
Attentiveness (35:75)
Appreciation (35:65)
No matter how it’s scaled; there are a number of problems that are occurring. Once you have anything that measures outside of the 60/40 range you’re in trouble. And if you have something that’s over balanced, it will smooth itself out and cause more troubles. “Attentiveness (25:75)” for example; meaning Joe’s thinking about Secretary AS much as Jane now, and its only a matter of time before the domino effect gets into full swing, and:
Thoughtfulness (25:75)
Emotional Attachment (20:80)
Attentiveness (20:80)
Appreciation (20:80)
At this point you have someone that’s more that likely being cheated on; and though this is a specific case, there are many things that can cause this balance shift – “faithfulness” is the easiest subject to attack, since most people can relate to it. Most people, regardless of sex, will do one of two things in this situation; get angry and seek results, if they’re in over their heads on the output they’re giving without receiving any feedback – or they’ll simply make excuses for themselves and continue to compensate and over-compensate, pushing their “significant other” farther away, while allowing them to get away with whatever it is they’re doing to distance themselves from the person they supposedly are with.
Some people do both; they get pissed off and know what’s going on, but are strong enough and intelligent enough to ease the relationship back into balance using things such as forgiveness, guilt, judgment, and flat out punishment. Depending on how much these things are used will determine where the balance ends up; if it doesn’t completely break down entirely.
Anyhow, Joe and Jane, they started out with the best intentions toward each other, but what might have happened? All infidelity comes from a single point in any relationship, and it usually is present from the very beginning; Jane wasn’t what Joe really wanted or pictured himself with; Joe’s lower ranking in emotional attachment from the start was a result of him not really wanting to fully commit, and thus was more attentive to Jane – to see when and where he could make his break and start to look elsewhere… there’s countless things that could do this; but for my example we’ll go with the latter.
Actually, instead of turning this into a “how cheaters become cheaters” blog, here’s a few tips on how to make adjustments properly and a huge tip that will help everyone in a struggling relationship…
Huge Tip: If your relationship is on the rocks, its going to take communication and time… separately. If you don’t give the other person time to be their own person, you’re going to lose; and even more so, if the time has come to talk things out and all you can do is be upset and fly off the handle? You’re only going to push them away again… if you do that it’s probably what you want anyhow. Since you’re too frustrated with “what they’ve done to you” to actually want to repair anything, you just want them to know how you feel at that point – and that’s simply selfish. Regardless of what you think; selfish acts of emotional expression, no matter how good they feel at the time, cause irreparable emotional scars on yourself more than them. From a guy’s point of view; if someone’s getting heated over a situation or coming out of left field with something… you’re now a psycho that I can definitely live without. (so to speak)
How to adjust the balance: The numbers in my example aren’t a literal; and neither are the measurements. I mean, if I could sit here and label all the items involved in the balance between two people… well… lets just say that’d take too much space and time to compile that list. But, not literal… there’s no set number of “what needs to be done”; the speed of the relationship doesn’t always have to be 60mph, it can be 10mph and still be at a (50:50) or close enough to it. Think of the ratios as a percentage of the whole. The “Whole” is whatever arbitrary number you want it to be; or whatever it is measured, if you can do that.
Try to work with each other to make adjustments in the “Whole”. If Joe slows things down, then Jane should as well. If Jane doesn’t understand why, then TIME and COMMUNICATION have to be factors, give it time – for when talk is ready.
How to not make adjustments: If Joe is taking the speed of things from 50mph to 20mph, Jane might want to over compensate for that by taking her speed from 50mph to 80mph and just drive into a brick wall with Joe. This is what I call the catastrophic relationship traffic accident.
Good news is, people survive even the ugliest of traffic accidents; real life & metaphorically in relationships. Its all about how you recover. Unfortunately, the brutally ugly reality of things is; sometimes one person survives and the other doesn’t… in terms of relationship; this is what happens when being cheated on is moved into the equation… loyalty and trust issues fuck everything up.
Disclaimer:
The names and scenarios described in this blog are purely fiction and in no way do they reflect current affairs in my life or lives of anyone of my friends. Any similarities should be considered coincidence… As much as it is hard to believe that there are people out there that would make assumptions about this, as opposed to reading it for what it has to say; i guess it’s expected at this point. The new secretary at my work during the time of this blog’s release wasn’t even a female (shallow minded fucks); and no I’m NOT gay… People never fail to amuse, that’s for certain…
Filed under: relationships
i wrote this last year, and rightfully so; has been the first thing I post whenever I re-do my blog lists or start up a new one somewhere… Its been deemed not only extremely valuable; but also, strangely enough, uncommon.
So… what is a relationship?
Simply put, in the traditional sense, two people getting along with each other well enough to be with each other exclusively. That sounds great… in a MOVIE… maybe, and one that doesn’t star Sandra Bullock at that.
There’s all kinds of stuff that can happen to them once they start – simply fade away, things get “bad”, people grow apart, someone “better” comes along, people change, sometimes for the worse… that’s life, either you can deal with it or get rid of it, that all depends on the situation you’re faced with, hooray for “particulars”.
I’ve been in a few relationships in my day, some good, some not so good. They start, they’re great – the coined phrase everyone’s using these days is “the honeymoon period”, which is nothing more than you simply not knowing the person yet, and filling in the gaps with what you think you see, and hoping for the best. Depending on how distorted you are when facing reality? You’ll either be very surprised, very disappointed, or somewhere in between when that period is over. Fact of the matter is, when the beginning phases of a relationship are nearing an end and the “real” shit starts to hit the fan? That’s when you’ll pretty much (deep down inside) make up your mind of how much longer that person is going to work out, or if they’re going to be around indefinitely. It’s the shallow truth in everyone, but heart and mind cover most of that up, patching up those flaws you secretly hate… for a while.
So what happens? You sit there, in your thoughts, drowning in your feelings for the person you’re with, noticing the things, behaviors and characteristics that you might not care for too much, and maybe start to take these details in to consideration: Time investment, tolerance, compromise, sacrifice and (my personal favorite) future plans and wants. And you leverage them together to form the “bonds” of the relationship.
I’m speaking generally, so if this doesn’t apply to you, congratulations, Mother Theresa, you’re the new found Messiah and you can live in your perfect relationship, with your perfect life, and kick rocks onto someone else’s philosophy. For those of you normal people, those “things” you find out as you come out of the honeymoon phase, ignore them or not… weirdly enough, they always tend to resurface later, generally after the two year mark – if you’re a long term, tolerant, patient, forgiving and humane person.
This is when the theory of “love lasts two years” comes from. Pessimistic? I’ve been called worse, but that term is fairly negative and even more so – incorrect. This is simply being realistic. It’s not like I’m not stating anything you probably haven’t thought or felt at least once in your life regardless. Deny it to yourself all you want, if you want to write to me and say “no I haven’t”; go lie to someone else.
Does love not exist? I’ll never say that, ever. I’m simply outlining issues of compatibility between two people.
True love does exist, happens all the time, its fantastic. Do some people get lucky and hit it off with someone their first go at it? Absolutely. There are 7 billion people on this planet, the chances of meeting someone you’re compatible with, with that many people to choose from, are pretty damn high, actually. What about the rest of us. Some people think that working things through because of the [time investment, tolerance, compromise, sacrifice and future plans and wants] involved, no matter what the situation is, it is ultimately worth it, because they “love” them. … This distorted view of what love is needs to vanish. Absolutely none of any of those points have anything to do with loving someone. Sure, time might be a factor, but is it part of love? Not at all…
What Does LOVE Include?
Trust: Complete trust, earned trust, mutual trust. All factors of trust are important, and truly need to exist, and cannot be simply assumed, the need to just be there, not made to be there. If you’re a jealous person? Talk to someone about your confidence levels and ask yourself what your problem is, don’t take it out on your significant other, who is (if you’re truly in love) undeserving of it.Honesty: This goes hand-in-hand with trust. How the hell are you going to put your trust in someone, if you can’t even trust your own actions enough to share them with your partner regardless of what they are?Loyalty: First off, if you’re cheating – chances are you’re not with the right person to begin with. Love him/her all you want, you’re not satisfied in some way shape or form outside of simply sex. Being loyal to someone is as simple as not putting yourself in a situation where you can, in general. If you’re not satisfied and start to fill a “void” by looking around for a “side thing”? HA! You’ve already lost.Passion: Sex is important; sure, humans are sexual animals, with a little thing called emotional reasoning mixed in, which makes exclusive companionship healthy, and also personally satisfying. But passion is so much more than simply “doing the deed” to get your rocks off; its enjoying the other person’s touch, the way they smell, how they look at you, dress for you, and treat you affectionately and caringly… Sound sappy? Bullshit, everyone wants to be held every once and while without being engaged in some kind of fuck session, think other wise? Then blame your mother for not holding you enough when you were an infant.
Humor: You can not be with someone if you can’t make them laugh. You can be the un-funniest anti-social person on earth and still find a way to make someone laugh. Doesn’t mean you have to learn to juggle and find ways to turn your eyelids inside out… it just means, if being you at times isn’t humorous to the person you’re with? You’re not only boring and bland to them, but, you’re also going to be replaced by a television every possible chance and there goes my next point.
Communication: The number one downfall to relationships outside of money (which I’ll go over) is lack of communication and too much misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and created/fabricated crap. Every communications book on this planet will have at least one paragraph if not a whole chapter dedicated to the two most important parts of communication. First and foremost, listening. If you don’t know how to listen? Learn or die alone. Pick up a communications book from a college, search google for answers, I don’t care, figure it out, and practice it… truly. This cutting someone off mid-sentence, refusal of listening to someone’s statements, and all of the drama that follows can be circumvented if you simply sit there and shut the fuck up. Secondly, weirdly enough – expressions. Facial and body language, if you’re upset? Slamming shit about and acting like an enraged gorilla will accomplish one thing – more drama. Want a solution? Talk one out. Too pissed off to talk? Take a damn shower, a walk or sit on the toilet and read the paper for a few minutes or so to calm down first, then give it a shot.
Finances: First, money doesn’t mean a god damn thing, but how it is managed and worked with in a relationship – like a serious one? Is actually extremely important. Don’t think so? Try dating someone who’s addicted to gambling so bad they pawn your car to play another hand of blackjack. The game of money in a relationship is all about financial fairness as well as you can make it with what the two of you make. So… money is needed for love? Hell no; but respect for one another’s needs is. Needs need to be met, on both sides of the fence, in all fairness, to reduce the other downfall of relationships… the number one downfall – stress caused by perceived financial unfairness, not strain, not “we don’t got it”, but fairness.
All that spells out two things; respect and common-decency toward another person. It has nothing to do with how much time you’re with them, what you plan on doing, what you’re willing to “put up with cause he/she is good to you”, what you’ve given up to be with such person, etc. All those things are just that… things, and mean about as much to a truly meaningful relationship as what was on the Home & Garden channel last Tuesday night.Chances are, if you’ve made it this far through my banter and have ever been in a relationship or are still in one, you’ve seen all these things, and know they all exist at some point or another when with someone. How do you keep it going once you got it? Once you’ve found who you want to be with? Don’t get caught up in the shallow ends of the situation. If there are with someone who has things you are unwilling to deal with? Communicate and discuss them to that person, or start doing an injustice to your relationship, and watch it deteriorate. Living with hidden opinions and sacrifices as a result of those opinions will not only eat you up on the inside, it will make your bond weak and your relationship fragile. It will also cause unnecessary stress on the one thing that’s most important to everyone, your heart.
